What are we waiting for. . .

     Silence creates an angst in our life.  There is a gap between how we want our life to be and how our life really is.  We work to fix problems and change our circumstances.  We ask God for help.  We seek advice from friends.  And we wait. 
     Jews in first century Palestine had waited a long time for their lives to improve.  They were waiting for good crops, for lower taxes, for economic stability.  Most of all, they were waiting for the Romans to leave and give them back their country.  Jewish children were raised on the stories of King David and King Solomon who led a united and prosperous Israel.  Those were the glory days when God's love was evident to the Jews.  Every good Jewish child was taught that one day God would send  a Messiah who would rescue the Jewish people.  And so, Jews were waiting for the Great Rescue, for life to be good again.
     The things I am waiting for seem much more benign.  I wait in line at the grocery store.  I wait for my kids to get in the car.  I wait for a check to come in the mail.  But, in a larger sense, I am just like the Jewish people on the eve of Christ's birth:  waiting for a rescue that will make my life better.  In the midst of waiting, it is easy to let my life become very small and focused.  It is easy to embrace the belief that my life would be better if only -- 1)  my kids took ownership of their schoolwork;  2) my husband was home more; 3) I had someone to clean my house; 4) we had a larger paycheck; 5) our house had a basement. . . .    There is a revolving list of "needs" that on any given day that I am waiting to be met.  I am waiting for my problems to be solved and my circumstances to be improved.  I am not waiting for a Savior to enter into my world and bless me with His presence.  If I had lived in 1 A.D., I think I quite possibly might have missed the significance of the Son of God being born in this world, because I am waiting for something else.
      I think I dream smaller dreams for my life than God does.  I want a manageable life; He offers me a significant life packaged as a wild adventure.  I want to feel competent; He shows me my failings and weaknesses -- but He generously gives me exactly what I need.  I want to prove I am lovable; He tells me there's nothing I can do to make Him love me more.  I want to be in control; He tells me to jump into difficult circumstances and trust Him.  I want easy answers; He tells me "Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." (Psalm 27:14)
     Today I'm pondering this.  What does it mean to shift my waiting from "better circumstances" to knowing God?  What does it mean to wait for Jesus to come to me in the midst of unanswered questions? 

  
But Zion said, "The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me."
"Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne?  
Though she may forget you, I will not forget you. 
See I have engraved you on the palms of my hands."  Isaiah 49: 14-16 


"The you will know that I am the LORD; those who hope in me will not be disappointed."  Isaiah 49:23b